too bad you live with your parents still
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
