I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
