Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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