the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
