I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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