The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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