fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
