remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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