Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
FUCK WHALES
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
