what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
