I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
