Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
