I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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