he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
soo... how was my night?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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