I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
