I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
