So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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