"it" just moved
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Someone signed my nipple.
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