and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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