How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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