I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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