I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
