If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize
