Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
