Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
