don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
