Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize