doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
