i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
