so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
