she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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