you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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