i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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