are you still at the devil's house?
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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