i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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