haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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