can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
