i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
