i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
