Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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