And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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