I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
third nipple confirmed
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Randomize
