So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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