Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
