We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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