whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Rumble strips road head = magical
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
