"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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