That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
