I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
