I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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