Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
this is an emotional support booty call
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
