If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
