Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
