And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
