This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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