I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
