Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
