Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
