The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
