Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
