so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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