Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize