when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
