All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
you never un-have a 4some
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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