She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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