I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
