He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
