Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
