So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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