I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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